Getting along with your mom-in-law is hard, but trust us, she means well. Let us decode some hidden messages that are hidden beneath her cold behaviour.
From time immemorial, mother-in-law is portrayed as a monster-in-law, and their relationship is often formal or strained. We could blame society, stories, movies and books that have glorified the mother-in-law problems. Of course, daughters-in-law don't find it easy to gel with their husbands' mothers. There is a lot of communication gap and misunderstanding between them that is rarely resolved. What is worse is that the wife doesn’t want to step out from her comfort zone and understand the point of view of a mother. It is difficult for them to empathize with her situation and understand the psychological reason behind her cold behaviour towards her son's wife.
Here are some hidden messages that are concealed behind every mom-in-law’s temper tantrums or taciturn attitude.
This relationship is hard for me, too: Experts have concluded that mothers-in-law do not intend to cause trouble, but they are as clueless as to their daughters-in-law in defining the course of the relationship. A mother has to surrender her status as the first lady in her son's life as soon as he gets married. It takes some time for her to get accustomed to the idea that another woman is close to her child. Mothers are expected to be flexible around this upheaval in their lives. They need to adjust to the idea that her son spends his moments with his wife, and she has to sacrifice her expectations for her son’s wife. A mother feels displaced and disconnected, making it hard for her to maintain her calm at times.
Your husband would always be my little boy: It is difficult for a mother to see her grown son as an adult; she always treats him as her baby boy who is still unaware of the big bad world. It often causes unwanted tension in the family. Mothers are always critical about the food served to her son because she feels that her daughter-in-law doesn't feed him properly. Now the mother could ask her daughter-in-law gently if her son still likes aloo paranthaon a Sunday rather than getting angry about the cooking style of her son’s wife.
I want you to communicate with me: A heart to heart chat with your mother-in-law occasionally could help break the ice between you. You could call her now and then and frequently ask for her advice on various things. It could make her feel important.
If we try to decode the situation from the perspective of mothers-in-law, it shall be a lot easier for us to develop a strong relationship with them.
