Positive connectedness and attention are the cornerstones of a healthy parent-child relationship. Checking in on your child and wanting to know about their day at school every day can show that you are interested in their life and are always available for them.
Attending school and participating in various activities offers every child several exciting new experiences that every parent wants to hear about. Especially during the school-age years, it is critical for every parent to connect with their child and gather information about what is happening in their lives, their interests and how they feel. But it can be challenging for parents to get their children to share about their day at school. We have offered some tips that can encourage your child to start talking about their day.
It is not unusual for kids to feel exhausted after a long and tiring day at school. Come to think of it, they spend several hours attending classes and learning new topics. When they are home, you can expect them to seek some space.
Instead of overwhelming your child with too many questions, you can share about your day with them; tell them what you did all day at home or work. By leading the conversion, you can encourage your child to talk about their day, too.
You should look for opportunities to sit with your child in the evening or when they are engaged in a recreational activity, to show your genuine interest in whatever they are doing. Such interactions can help establish a comfort zone that fosters a desire to share.
If you create a non-pressured, comfortable and safe space for your child by showing genuine interest and positive attention, they will come around to talk about their day with you.
No one can end a conversation faster than an uninterested and unengaged participant. Listen attentively when your child is talking about their day at school. Show them you are paying attention through your facial expressions, body language, and answering tone.
Try to respond with follow-up questions that do not sound threatening or judgemental. When your child is sharing about their day, reinforce positive behaviours (e.g., "I am delighted to hear that you performed well in the test."). By adopting these conversation skills you can create a safe and comfortable environment for them to share everything with you.
If you sense that your child is a bit troubled or something is making them upset, your questions arising from curiosity and concern may sound very negative, with emotion-filled words that sound mean or sad. If you use a positive approach to ask questions, it will allow your child to express their concerns more freely. For instance, “I heard you made new friends at school today. What did your new friends talk about?”
When your child is ready to share about their day at school, ask engaging and specific questions to them. Avoid rapid-fire questions because it might feel like an interrogation session—overwhelming them—and compelling them to lose their ability and willingness to communicate with you.
Instead of asking vague questions like, “How was your day at school?” consider asking more lighthearted yet specific questions. For instance, "Let us talk about one not-so-pleasant and one very good thing that happened today. I will go first."
Without further ado, inculcate these creative communication skills to interact with your children. We wish you luck!
